Articles on Japan / Travel

Kyoto’s Ninja Cafe

Ninjas and food – what could possibly be better than that, amiriteoramirite?  That sort of looks like the name of a chemical or fossil.  Either way, this is how my friend and I celebrated our birthdays (over a year ago!! 泣).

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When we heard there was a ninja cafe within reasonable distance, it was not a question of if we were going, but of when.

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I heard these ninjas were once living, but they failed to produce the perfect crepe, and are now doomed to guard the entrance of the cafe, tragically able to smell that wonderful food without tasting it, knowing deep within their souls that they’re not worthy.

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Something I haven’t shared with the audience of this blog yet (though I’m pretty sure you’re still non-existent – if you read this and begin to have doubts about your life and reality, well, I’m sorry, but it is what it is (don’t read too deeply into that either)) is that I have a superpower.  That superpower is klutziness, and it is sooo powerful that I pass it on to others.  There was evidence of this power that night, as the ninja pictured here dropped his scroll.  No ninja would ever do that under normal circumstances, but I have my ways.

I was kind of disappointed with how little interaction there was; the whole thing is pretty much self-serve, so once the ninja introduced himself we didn’t really see him again.

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Anyways, he shared with us the ’5 Rules of Ninja’, which were basically common sense rules about eating at a buffet.  That is, except for the third ‘rule’: ‘we also have alcohol’ Please ask a ninja indeed.  Buncha 酔っ払いs.  I suppose since they’re rather obsolete in real life nowadays, they don’t have much of a choice.

Well, onto the food.  If I remember right, it was mediocre at best.  And random, non-Japanese foods like fries and pasta.  I didn’t even take a picture of most of it, and that says something.  The only worthwhile thing, really, is the crepes!  They were so delicious, it was almost worth going just for those.

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There’s a labyrinth attached as well, and it was pretty cheap, but there wasn’t much too it.  I actually got really creeped out on the windy tunnel down to it, thinking suddenly a ninja was going to scare me from behind, but after three minutes we arrived at a desk to welcome us.  After that it was kind of like a corn maze, except really short and not as creepy as the long entrance.  You find kanji to try to connect a bingo-type thing in order to leave.  The ninjas pop out every time you find one, and it’s pretty amusing.  They definitely scared me at least once, and it was funny hearing screams from other groups.  I think it’s worth doing, at least for your first time.  They are very acrobatic.

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Overall:  pretty much a tourist trap, but still worth going at least once.  Just an overall, fun atmosphere with mediocre food.

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