It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything, and I’ve pretty much failed at my promise to myself.
BUT I can still change. So I will. Starting now. You’ll all see. I hope.
Part of the reason I haven’t updated is because I haven’t done much, despite being in Japan. Partially because of a lack of funds, partially because of the current state of my daily life. Even so, I haven’t written about the things I have done, and the observations I’ve made. I wish to change that. For now I will do a brief update and then tomorrow I will write a more concrete post about a specific event.
I started writing a blog about my flight before, but never finished. In short: not great, barely made it to each flight due to two delays, but in the end I did make it. And I’m pretty sure I worried some of the staff in Osaka. I was dressed and feeling like a bum on all of the planes (four – Eau Claire, WI – Chicago – LA – Tokyo – Osaka). Before I met Yuuki (my boitoi) for the first time in nearly a year, I wanted to not look like…well like I had just spent the last 26 hours in airports and airplanes. Also: I rarely ever wear make-up. So between changing in a bathroom surprisingly not built like a changing room and trying to figure out how to make eye liner work, I exited the gates a good 20-30 minutes later than anyone else. I told him to dress up too so I didn’t look like a mail-order bride, and he sort of did, he added a bow tie. It was adorable.
Side note: I never know whether to answer the stewardesses in Japanese or English. I usually stick to English because A. They’re probably excited they get to use it, and B. I’m a pansy and
know everyone would be listening to me and judging me narcissistic.
I tried really hard to get a good picture from the plane, but pretty much failed (I got the window seat on almost every flight, but also just above the wing on every flight). This is the best I have, I think of L.A. That was a whole ‘nother issue, as when one of my flights was delayed, the worker who helped me get a new flight said an hour would be plenty of time, and that I wouldn’t have to switch to the international terminal, because it was the same company. Wrongggg. Soooo I’m pretty sure the good citizens of L.A. thought a yeti had gotten loose from the nearby zoo, as this Wisconsinite juggled suitcases while wearing a winter coat and sweating up a storm, running blindly to the international building. Seriously, so little time that I didn’t believe I’d be able to take off my jacket. And I did, indeed, get there just as the plane was being boarded.
As for my current daily life – it’s really rather disappointing in a lot of ways. But chin-up, it’s better than where I was at.
Yuuki is now working two jobs: one at an izakaya, and one at a factory. And going to school. So he’s always pretty tired, and when he is home, 70% of the time he’s sleeping. So for instance, this week’s Sunday he left for work at 9 pm, came back Monday at 7:30 am, slept until 12 pm, went to school, came back at 4:00 pm, slept until 8:30 pm, and then left for work again at 9 pm. It’s weird missing him when I’m still in Japan. So most of the time, I’m locked up in his apartment alone playing Skyrim or translating. Sadly, more of the former…why is that game so addicting! I need to get out more, but I really don’t have much money right now, and it’s hard to motivate myself. I should go on more walks though.
Also, I’m a total baby. Lately, I cry at every song I hear (that remotely makes me feel things). Greeen’s Kiseki (friends), Zedd/Haley William’s Stay the Night (said boitoi), and Sakanaction’s Music once I looked up the lyrics (loneliness). Ugh self, stahp.
I know I need to enjoy the moment. I’m here. But I’m alone too much to not think about the past, present, and future, and the separations to come. I’m very glad I came, though. And that’s a good thing.
Now, to find a volunteer opportunity! So many of the organizations I’ve found have defunct websites or e-mails, and the few that don’t, don’t respond. So I’m going to have to call or go directly to their location and ask.
Courage, wizard, give me courage. And a brain, and all that other stuff.
You know what, just give me everything. Except a heart. Unless you do trades…? I’d prefer one less mucky and easily saddened.